3 clever ways to figure out your partner’s love language

Love language
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We are very familiar with the popular saying, “Action speaks louder than words.” It may sound cliché but it is true in many ways.

It is easy to say you love someone but if your actions and attitude towards your object of affection does not show this, then you are clearly being untruthful. Your behaviour and mannerism are what actually portray your true feelings for your partner.

So how then do you express your deepest feelings for your lover without necessarily having to say the words, “I love you” or better yet, saying them and also proving those words to be true? This is where love language comes into the picture.

Love language
Photo credit: Shutterstock

In case you’re wondering, love language is the way every individual prefers to show and receive love in their relationship. For some, giving or receiving gifts is their own love language while for some others, it is being able to spend quality time with their partner.

How then can you tell which love language works for your partner? How do you get it right without having to go through the awkwardness of asking your lover directly? Well, if this is your dilemma right now, we have the right tips to help you figure it out.

Love language
Photo credit: Shutterstock
  1. Pay attention: Since you’re not a mind reader or a magician, you will definitely need some pointers to let you know exactly what to look out for. What are the things that you do that give your partner the utmost satisfaction? Does s/he appreciate your small acts of service like picking him/her from work when it’s not quite convenient for you, or that random gift you bought which your partner still speaks fondly of or is he/she just content with spending some quality time with you? Pay close attention to those things they like you to do for or with them because that might just be their love language. Some people enjoy frequent date nights, some like public display of affection like hand-holding and cuddling, while others just prefer thoughtful gifts. Being attentive is the key to figuring out the mystery of your partner’s love language.
  2. Be creative: So let’s assume you’ve figured out your partner’s love language, what’s next now? Don’t turn yourself into Captain Obvious by doing the same thing repetitively till it becomes boring or irritating. For instance, you now know that your partner loves a lazy day at the beach with you, you don’t have to now make this an every weekend activity. Just because your partner loves this doesn’t mean you should wear them out with it. Be creative and spontaneous. Someone who loves the beach definitely loves the outdoors and the sea. So you can plan a one-day boat cruise, a day at the poolside or a weekend at a resort. These are still fun, outdoor and water-related outings that your partner will love, and most importantly, s/he will definitely appreciate your thoughtfulness in planning these dates.
Love language
Photo credit: Vividlife

3. Be committed: Learning your partner’s love language isn’t just about you using it as an avenue to manipulate them or turn it into their ‘mumu button,’ because doing that just defeats the purpose of knowing it in the first place. Showing your partner affection through their love language simply proves that you cherish them enough to express your feelings to them in a way that they can appreciate and relate to. A good relationship requires sincere commitment from both parties involved. Don’t make the love language a one-off experience. Make it a habit and watch your partner reciprocate as well. After all, nothing is more satisfying than seeing the pure joy on your lover’s face and knowing that you’re responsible for putting it there.

Written by Oke

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